Hm… where to begin. Well a nice place to begin is where I left off at. But I don’t think I will do that.

I work a lot now and I get paid, so I’m ok with it. Last night I went to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra concert with Kayna and her family. It was really good despite some distractions form the audience.

I don’t really feel like writing right now. I’m listening to the blues right now, its really good. If you haven’t heard any good blues before come talk to me and I will play you some.

I think I’m done now, I just thought I would update for the sake up updating.

Its an update my friends. Geoffrey was whining like a little girl for me to do it so here it is.

I work a lot now. Down at North Park mall for High Tech Kids. It’s a kinda far drive. Costs be about 2 gallons of gas to get down and back, but with the money I’m making its no big deal. The worst part is having to eat in the mall. I’m bringing food from now on, cut down on expenses. Although… I was growing quite fond of corner bakery’s small Caesar salad for only $2.99. It was nice cause it comes with some baguette too.

So people say… Jim, what do you do at work? And I tell them… “What they tell me to do.” That’s basically how it works. Really what I do is sell educational software and toys… its like working at best buy, except I don’t have to wear blue unless I want to. I’m getting to know the products really well and the good selling points so I’m getting better at it. The best part is that only managers can do checkout. Since I’m not a manager I don’t have to check people out and deal with that, its cool.

So the other day this little girl comes in with her mom and we have Christmas music playing and this song comes on and the mother is like “Wow that’s really cool sounding, who is it?” and the girl says “Nuh Uh momma. You KNOW dat’s Destiny’s Child.” It was funny. (It didn’t happen quite like that, but close enough)

Lots of other stuff happens at work that’s funny or cool like dads that come in with their two month old daughters and he is playing with her and she is happy… that just makes me happy inside.

I’m not gonna talk about work any more for this entry, but I will definitely write more stuff as I think about it or as it happens

I think I'm lonely...

So tonight was my lucky night...

Final score 316-281 I won.

Thanks to Eric for the title

Wow. You never really know just how lucky you are until you realize how much someone means to you.

Tonight the stars… oh my… they were so intense that its down right impossible to put into words.

When I was driving home there was fog in the open areas by the road. There weren’t many cars out driving so there were a pair of tail lights in front of me as I drove through a light fog on River Crest… and it was so strange, like the lights were just floating out there in the mist.

So here is to feeling infinite… Thank you.

So I'm working more now so I have less time to update. I beg your forgiveness, and if you don't to give it to me... too bad I take it anyway.

I just ate alot of ravioli and now I'm quite full, I may go to bed early tonight. I was planning on sleeping in today, but I woke up at 7:30, scratched my nose, then dashed through the darkness of dawn to the bathroom to stop my bloody nose. NOT a good way to start the day.

I'm excited for this upcoming weekend... but I dont think friday will get here fast enough.

Thanks to Brian for the picture, he dosent know I stole it.. I'll give it back if he wants it

Yo. So I moved some of my room around today. It was VERY VERY dusty. Here are the pictures. (The yellow arrows denote dust)

I feel like staying up all night. I probably wont cause I don’t have anything to do or anyone to talk to while staying up all night. Right now I am scratching old super glue off my desk. I’m not joking. I really am… using the tool of tools… a paperclip.

Well that was short lived… my paper clip got bent so it didn’t scrap as well. It’s alright though… The super glue has sentimental value…

What to do… what to do…

Maybe I’ll do some jumping jacks… or maybe I’ll just go to sleep.

So I went sailing this weekend. We got 3 first places in the 3 races. Too bad we were the only boat in our fleet… but overall we beat boats that are faster than we were so that’s good. I took some pictures of stuff at the lake, I havent looked at them yet so later this week I will post those…

I was talking to some kids that I know up at the lake one of them is a freshman this year and the other is in 6th grade. I realized that I’m old. It scared me so I hid under the table at dinner…

So if you are ever interested in sailing keep this in mind. If the water is really rough and you are out there for a while you will adjust to it and it wont seem as bad… but unfortunately it will make everything else feel like its moving up and down like the boat was. It makes me dizzy and nearly fall down in the shower. I think I’m gonna go lay down before I get seasick and fall out of my chair

P.S.- I think that "The Neon Guillotine" would be a cool name for a club/bar/restraunt/music venue... dont you think?

So I’ve come to realize that I don’t really care for Halloween… I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t care much for doorbells. They are very harsh and jarring. Although I think our doorbell gets used more on Halloween than any other night of the year… I think it dates back to an early childhood trauma when two ladies (they have been Mormon missionaries or Jehovah’s witnesses…) came to my door. My mom and brother had just left so nobody was home but me. The doorbell rang and I thought it was them so I ran to the front door and opened it and it wasn’t my mom, but two ladies… one tall and skinny one short and fat. The looked like the guys from home alone… Danny Devito and the other guy… in womanly religious form of course… Anyway they asked if my mom was home, or my dad, and I said no. They looked at each other with what appeared to be a “I’m gonna rob your house and kill you” sort of glance… and then they said thank you and walked off. I was scared to death. As I recall I sat in a corner of my room hiding and listening for them to break in. I was scared they were gonna come back and tell my mom that I opened the door to a stranger too… but they never came back…

On the upside of Halloween…

GRRR! Doorbell interrupting my thoughts… We live on an isolated street so we don’t have too many kids come by, so we have extra candy. And when I pass out the candy I don’t pass out the mr.goodbars, cause those are the ones I like :-)

There are people on my roof. *BANG BANG BANG* Go the hammers. I tried to take a nap but it was highly unsuccessful. For a while I was 90% asleep. With that 10% that I wasn’t asleep with I was thinking, but my thoughts were interrupted by me, snoring. It was strange, I wanted to stop snoring, but the rest of my body was asleep…

I think I’m gonna try to update more, if you read this let me know, seriously. Cause I don’t know if anyone saw the last entry, I was fairly smitten with the title…

I got a flu shot today. I started thinking about how maybe by fighting off the flu we might be doing something that is actually counter productive to our well being… Like maybe after you get the flu and your body fights if off then you are stronger later allowing you to fight off bigger and badder diseases. So since we are not allowing our immune systems to fight the flu they become weaker and weaker causing us to get sick more… In summary I need more sleep/nap, but I cant do that until the roofers leave.

Hm… it’s hard sometimes…

I got a new pavement CD. And by new I mean new to me its 6 or 7 years old. But man is it good. I like pavement. You should go out and listen to some from Wowie Zowie or Brighten the Corners. Wowie Zowie is the CD that I have had for a while and I like it a lot. I think there may be only one bad song on it. Its like the blue Weezer almost. Come to think of it Wowie Zowie is blue too… If I ever make a CD I’m gonna make sure that its blue, blue CD’s rule!

Its getting colder outside. I can wear my jacket now, I like my jacket. Not my army jacket, I have a nice jacket… it makes me look sexy *nods* I think I will wear my army jacket tonight when I go to On The Border with Danny, Nolan, and his girlfriend Ashley. I don’t like being cold. I like cold weather all right, I just don’t like being cold. My hands get cold easily… I think my heart is weak and doesn’t pump my blood very well… I should look into getting a new heart :-)

Its not even 6 yet and its getting dark outside. Day light savings time is weird. It messes me up cause I like to go to sleep after its been dark for about 3 or 4 hours. So at 10 I will be exhausted, maybe tonight will be the exception cause I have some government I need to read for tomorrow. I think I’m gonna go clean my windshield, its got a lot of streaks on the inside and it makes it hard to see through at night.

Dog has the blues...

Yo, so I haven’t updated in a while. Uhm… let us see what has been going down.

I launched a picture page of kinda artsy stuff, well most of it is anyway. I took a lot of pictures, but I’m sorting out all the crap so it take a long time, and then I forget about them so then it doesn’t get looked at for a while soooo… You’ll just have to be patient with me the link to it is Pictures

I finished listening to all my CDs a while ago… like… last Sunday. It took me a long time, but now I have a greater appreciation for all the CDs I have and I know what all I have which is cool. I realize that I have far too much music also. Say for example… if I were to listen to all of my CD’s and each CD is 60 minutes long (Some are less, some are more) it would take me 6 and a half days to listen to them all. THAT, is too much music.

That about all I have to say… People who read this, remind me to update more, cause I forget about it

It's Max the Dog!

Mr.Mozart...

I made it out of the desert. It wasn’t too terrible. I am now onto Mozart piano concertos after that comes a variety of cd’s Led Zeppelin, Pavement, Pixies, more Flaming lips, Morphine. And way on down the road is jazz... I have A LOT of jazz.

The desert...

I have entered the desert that is... the global chillout. Approximately 200 minutes of music that is used for meditation.... See you on the other side.

SPLAT! Goes my brain...

Uhng… today I listened to Jeff Foxworthy, O’ Brother Where art Thou?, Ravi Shankar, Warped Tour 2001. Those weren’t so bad. Then I hit a wall… a wall consisting of Blue Oyster Cult and Tripping Daisy. Oh my… Blue Oyster Cult plays “Don’t fear the reaper” that song is good, the remainder of the CD is awful. Then I got to Tripping Daisy. Something about them just sucks the brain out of my head and flings it against a wall. No more music for tonight 48 CD’s down…

Just like a bowling ball wouldn't...

Hello everyone. Ok in case you didn’t know. I am going through my CD collection and listening to every one of my CD’s. Doesn’t sound too bad now does it… except for the fact that I have 160 CD’s. So far I have listened to 28 hours 26 minutes and 42 seconds of music, or 37 CD’s.

Eric asked for a report on the listening so I am going to attempt to update daily with my progress. So far I’ve listened to 2 Jimi Hendrix, 1 Pink Floyd, 1 Grateful Dead, 1 Led Zeppelin, 1 Beatles, 1 Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1 Foo Fighters, 4 Weezer, 1 MXPX, 1 Hippos, 2 Everclear, 4 Mighty Mighty Bosstones, 2 Less Than Jake, 2 Third Eye Blind, 2 Green Day, 1 Blink 182, 1 Flaming Lips, 2 Saves The Day, 2 Smash Mouth, 1 Toadies, 1 Eve6, 1 Matchbox 20, 1 Chumbawamba, 1, Barenaked Ladies. My ears are tired…

I can tell you right now that there were some tough spots, the toughest being Chumbawamba. I gave serious thought to just “saying” that I listened to it and moving on, but I would have been grief ridden for the rest of my listening. There is just something about British techno that tears at your nerve endings like a chain saw. Fortunately that torture is over. The next hardest listening was the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. One CD would have been ok, but I’m going in order through my CD book so all 4 the Bosstones CD’s were right next to each other. It was rough. I will keep you posted on my adventures through my CD book. I need positive feed back because in my near future I have to fight my way through the meditative sounds of… THE GLOBAL CHILL OUT!

Careening gracefully out of control...

It just rained, and if that isn’t note worthy then I don’t know what is! Uhm… I don’t have a lot to say. Aside from my advice to everyone who intends to have kids… Start some kind of trust fund for you children when they are born so they will be able to go to school where they want and not be limited by money. I’m not bitter. But standing idly by as you watch all your friends, including your best friend, pack and leave town is downright awful. I think I’m done. Keep in touch.

Ode to the Ghetto Mobile...

I had to clean out the ghetto mobile today. It was sad. So here is the ode, to the ghetto mobile.

I have alot of memories attached to this car... memories of 5 kids piling in the back of it to go see a movie... memories of getting in the car mid winter to feel the diesel engine rumble and spit smoke for 5 minutes before you could begin to drive... memories of all the cokes, vanilla cokes, diet cokes, and cherry vanilla cokes (from sonic) that I had while driving... So here is to you old chum!

You live in my monarchy...

I’m getting old. I was just sitting on my couch talking to Stephanie and Stephen just thinking about times gone by. I can’t fathom what has happened to all the time. We talked about inside jokes and funny occurrences mainly. We talked about how Stephanie and I had a baby named River, and the baby booties I gave to her one year for Christmas. We talked about the picture of a little boy that I found in the hallway that I dubbed “Sam”, only to learn that he was the little brother of someone’s friend. We talked about movies that we went to go see freshman year. So many things I’ve forgotten, so many things I’ve lost. Where does it all go.

And he held the fire in his hands...

So I’m sitting here, just kind spacing out and a thought drifted across the tranquil sea that is my mind. “I haven’t updated in a LONG time…” It is true. I haven’t updated in a long time. Why is that you may ask? I don’t rightfully know. Maybe it is because I work too hard… not likely, but possible. Maybe it is cause I worry too much. That’s more likely and I have been worrying more than I have needed to lately… but still not it. Most likely it is because I’m lazy.

I keep forgetting that everyone I know is going to be leaving town in a month and a half. I need to start working on final “Odes” to people. I have to get my digital camera first. That should be coming soon. I think I’m going to take a nap now.

AP...

Here are my scores. I'm really excited and extremely lucky. I hope everyone fairs the same.

AP SCORES

English Literature - 3
English Language - 3
Economics - 4
Psychology - 5

Feeling blue at the gills...

I was looking through stuff I've written. I don't even remember writing this story but it's pretty decent...

He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Even though the lights in his room had been off for more than 30 minutes he wasn’t anywhere near sleep. He told himself that it was too bright in to sleep because the freshly fallen snow was reflecting the pale blue light of the street lamp outside. But deep down inside he knew that it wasn’t true, and couldn’t be farther from the truth. That night, before it had begun to snow he had visited her house, and kissed his girlfriend goodbye for the last time. Correction, ex-girlfriend. He had to keep reminding himself of the distinction that the girl he loved, his best friend had broken up with him. He knew it was ending, something in his bones told him so. Every time she would see him her eyes would not glimmer the way they used to. Every time they kissed goodnight the kisses began to get shorter. Every time he reached out to hold her hand, she was somewhere else. He knew it was over, but believing it was the hard part. So much of his life he lost that night. He no longer had a confidant when he was feeling blue, no longer had a soft shoulder to rest on when he was tired, no longer had a hand to help him up when he had fallen. The worst part was that he knew for once in his life that he was helpless, helpless against the hand that he loved to hold so much.

On his way home he was so distracted that he wasn’t even focusing on the road. Usually a cautious driver he always drove the speed limit, but tonight he sped down the 2 lane roads, mesmerized by the falling snow. He thought, maybe it would have been better if he had just caught a patch of ice under one of his tires that it wouldn’t hurt so bad. But he quickly snapped out of this daze and resumed thinking of his girlfriend, his ex-girlfriend. It was the fact that he was helpless that occupied his mind as he drove. He gave her everything he had, but yet, it just wasn’t good enough to keep her at his side. And why wasn’t it good enough? Was he too dumb? Was he too athletic? How could he give her everything he had emotionally, spiritually, and physically and still not be able to please her? Of course she said that it was entirely her fault and there was noting wrong with him, but he knew this to be bulls***. He heard the same damn line since he was an eighth grader. In his dimly lit room he rolled up onto his side to look out the window. The whole town was dark. The only signs of life were the pale blue street lights that kept him from falling asleep.

When autumn gets up and leaves...

I haven’t written alot lately cause I’ve been working. I did start another story so I’ll let you all read it, I need reinforcement to finish it though, so remind me to keep writing or ask me about how its going. And if it isnt any good tell me cause I havent actually read back through it.

Marcus woke up one morning and stared into the face of a complete stranger. This was odd for more than one reason. He usually slept on his back. In fact he could not remember a time when he did not sleep on his back. More strange than this fact was that Marcus didn’t usually come home with strange women. Especially strange women that look to be almost twice his age as the woman lying in bed next to him did.

The woman in the bed next to him looked to be in her early sixties (he was a bad estimate of age). Deep creases crisscrossed her face further defining her aged features. Her hair was a heather color, although the roots were beginning to fade to a gentle gray. Silently he wondered if she dyed her hair but soon deserted this question to further his comprehension of who this stranger was in hopes to remember who she was. She slept quietly, breathing through her nose. Just then Marcus noted something both shocking and extraordinary, a ring of gold was wrapped around one of her fingers. It was a wedding band.

Slowly Marcus rolled onto his back to further contemplate what had happened to him. As his mind raced he did not feel as comfortable on his back in fact there was a stabbing pain in his lower back. “Ok Marcus, think…” he told himself. This had happened to him before but usually after thirty seconds some recollection of a party came to him and then he realized what had happened. But in the pre-dawn hours of this day Marcus had no such recollection. A few clues stuck out in his mind, her age and the wedding ring. “Did I take this older married woman to bed with me after a party?”

Marcus decided to sit up because the stabbing pain became more and more intense. He looked down to see that he was dressed down in flannel pajamas. This forced a new realization into his head. There was no party last night. In the past he was usually wearing no pajamas at all and his clothes from the day before would be strewn out all over the floor. Something was clearly wrong.

"Maybe if I take a shower it will come back to me… if I only knew where the shower was.” Thought Marcus. He rose up off the bed and fumbled into a pair of slippers that were lying on the floor, like someone had placed them there the night before. “How odd” He thought, flicking them off across the room. After a few moments of tiptoeing around the room he finally found his way into the bathroom and very slowly closed the door so as not to wake the sleeper. Walking past the mirror he glanced into it to see if his eyes were bloodshot. If they were that was a good sign, strangely enough. If his eyes were bloodshot that meant that he was hung over, and there for there must have been a party the night before and gone home with some kind of psycho woman.

When he turned to look he didn’t see himself, and where his reflection should have been a reflection of an old man stared back at him. “Huh” he said aloud “what a crazy mirror…” Turning on the water in the shower he wondered why this psycho lady would have a fun house mirror in her bathroom. He laughed thinking about how he should play a trick like that on his room mate Todd, boy would that be a laugh. While he was in the shower he almost forgot about the woman sleeping in the bedroom, but as he began to shampoo his hair the bathroom door swung open. This scared him so badly that he fell down in the bathtub causing the slight discomfort in his back to leap making him feel like he was paralyzed. “SOME KIND OF NERVE YOU HAVE SHOWERING AT SIX IN THE MORNING!” a shrill voice screeched into the small tile bathroom. Then the room fell silent except for the sound of the shower water splattering down over his paralyzed body.

Again the voice called out “FINE DON’T ANSWER ME!” Then the door slammed. Once again the room fell silent. Marcus thought to himself “Whew, dodged a bullet there…” Whoever this woman was that he came home with was not the woman he would want to spend his life with, that’s for sure. In fact as soon as he washed the shampoo out of his hair he was going to find his clothes, leap out of a window and never come back to this crazy house again.

As he was drying himself off Marcus noted that in the fun house mirror he was going bald and his hair was turning gray. “I didn’t know they made mirrors that would do that…” he thought. Once he finished drying himself off he wrapped the towel around his waist as he was accustomed to doing and he looked at his hands for the first time. Granted he had seen them earlier that morning but he hadn’t stopped to look at them. They didn’t look quite the same as they did when had gone to sleep that night. There were brownish spots on the backsides and there were scars that were new to him but yet were already healed. Shaking his head violently from side to side Marcus thought that he must have taken some kind of drug at the party last night that had yet to wear off all of its hallucinogenic properties yet.

If you didnt figure it out... basically the story about Marcus who is a 50 year old man that devloped a form of amneisa in his sleep that wiped out the last thirty years of his life. So now he belives that he is 20 and leaves his wife and family to start living at age 20.

When I was writing this I had an idea... "Writing is like taking a black and white picture of a sunset. You can show someone what it looks like and how the sun rests on the horizon, but you leave adding colors to the reader." That, is how I view writing.

Life in the fast lane is hard for turtles...

I had a realization yesterday. It started off of something Kayna said. We were talking about how it didn’t seem real that we didn’t have to go to high school ever again. But what got me was when she said something along the lines of “This isn’t summer, this is life…” cause I said it doesn’t seem like summer. There in lies my realization. This isn’t summer, this is my life. I could go out tomorrow apply for a full time job at a restaurant or at construction company and start living on my own. I am 18, I could get a full time job and work from today until they day I retire or the day I die. Life is here my friends, this isn’t summer, this is life.

Swimming around in the proverbial cheesecake...

Kayna's taking dictation for me. Woo. She corrects my grammar; it's tasty. So i'm sitting here, just talking... it's alot easier than typing. Here in a little bit we're going to go see Finding Nemo. Hope it's good, but I'll prolly fall asleep unless someone keeps me awake. John, Erick, and Kayna (obviously) are here and we're just waiting until Stephen and Steph show up, but they have a case of chronic tardiness. I'm thinking about taking down the greek pillars in my room, we'll see about that. I need some advice. Kayna says "No. Don't" I'm about all done talking now. It's hard to get a feel for what I'm saying when I'm not typing it. Stephen's here, I'm gonna go get the door. Kayna is awesome. (She added that... but I probably think it anyway...) Yes. I do. "True". And here she is. Boy is she sexy. (hehehehe, I said that about myself! love, Kayna)

Spitting in the apple of your eye...

You stand for an hour surrounded by people who are all dressed just like you and are all wondering what they are doing here. Everything around you seems surreal as your line begins to move forward down a corridor. You pass faces of people you have never seen, people who don’t know your name, acquaintances, and best friends as you walk. You hesitate for moments as someone catches your eye to say “Hi” or to shake your hand as you are herded past them. Suddenly the line that you are in slows to a crawl from a power walk. And high above you floats pomp and circumstance. As you turn the corner you see row after row of chairs before you, and you realize…. I am graduating.

So as you can tell I updated my web page, I hope you like it. I need content ideas in a bad way. Has anyone found all 3 secrets???

Sniffing the stench of victory...

The time is close my friends. Minor tweaking and then I'll be done.

What is this...

Quick update... making new webpage... it will be cool... or else...